My family have hardly noticed that I’ve gone out to work again. It’s quite astonishing really – maybe proof that what we do as mothers is mysteriously invisible to the rest of the family, or maybe I just have terrific organizational skills and as far as they are concerned it’s business as normal.
I generally head out for the train at about the same time as the teenagers and am home around 6 to start cooking dinner as I always have. Thanks to my new cleaning fairy, if anything, the house is cleaner than before and so far there haven’t been any issues where my actual physical presence was missed in the hour or hour and a half between the teenagers coming in from school and me coming in from work. If I’m honest, they only ever said hi and then locked themselves away in their rooms, so it wasn’t like we were really having quality time then anyway.
All of which means that I think we can put a big tick next to this working lark – plus I love my job – did I tell you that already?
Although to the outside things don’t look that different, for me it’s hugely different. I’m still at that funny stage where I feel like I’m actually living someone else’s life. Is this businesswoman really me? Whether it’s really me or not, and I suspect it is, it feels really good. I’m on a pretty big learning curve at the moment and it feels great. I feel more alive than I have in a good long while.
The pace of my life has pretty much doubled…I don’t have as many free minutes to play with as I used to, so I have to make really sure that I use them wisely and efficiently. I’m thinking more, organizing more, planning more..but also I’m feeling better about myself, so I’m socializing more too – which has to be a good thing. The troubles and difficulties of the last 6 months are behind me now, things are in a healthy perspective and I feel like I’ve finally come out of hibernation.
The only thing that seems to be getting short-changed is sewing and blogging time, but I guess that goes with the territory. I just have to accept that the chance of me doing much of either on the days I’m at work isn’t very high – I’m too tired and to be honest in the evenings I’m drawn more to peacefully playing the piano rather than stitching much. I’m going with the flow and doing what feels right and what I want to do. I imagine soon a routine will start to fall into place.
And those stubborn pounds that I’ve been trying to get rid of unsuccessfully for years…boy oh boy, they’re dropping off with this change of pace. (This might have something to do with the lack of a biscuit tin at work !!).
So altogether I think we’re looking at a new me….or an old me come back visiting…
And it feels pretty nice!