Today I finished the rag rug for my daughter – just in time really as she is moving out at the end of the week. She’s thrilled with it and I’m happy to be giving her something cheerful and practical – and of course because I used a whole load of old fabrics up in the process.
(Lots of people asked me about finishing off the rug and how I would weave it with the nails at the end of the frame in the way – the answer was a large crochet hook and a bit of perseverence – it was perfectly do-able!).
I realised today that I’ve been so wound up with the issues relating to my mother that I have given daughter moving out hardly any thought at all. She is so eminently sensible and so clearly ready to go – not to mention that she will be living with two boys she has known well for years and it will save her a three hour commute – but truth be told, I shall miss her terribly. She has never been the slightest bother and is positively helpful and good company. I’m sure she will at least come home frequently – to watch Strictly Come Dancing or Call the Midwife if for no other reason – but it is still A BIG THING. Maybe daughter number two being away at school in England makes it seem less of a change because daughter number one will still be in the same country, but I have just realised that she will not be coming home in the holidays unless it is to babysit the cat when we are away….gulp.
There are too many things changing at the moment and it’s making me feel a bit all at sea.
On the mother front it is one step forward and one step back – I’m now (following Lind’s advice) checking out powers of attorney and have realised that although I have one for property and financial affairs I don’t have one for heath and welfare. When I did the first one a couple of years ago it would have been nice if the solicitor had alerted my to the fact that the latter even existed and we could have taken care of that at the same time…oh well, we didn’t and I shall just have to get on with it.
Mother now tells me she wants to look at sheltered accommodation near where she lives. I tell her that this is a home, and that was what she always said she didn’t want, but she seems very swayed by wanting to stay in an area she knows. I am concerned that if she doesn’t have to look after herself at all she will very quickly decline mentally. The other place I looked at (so lovely that I would happily live there myself) would require independent living at least to some extent – which I see as a positive and was what she always wanted, but I’m now wracked with doubts and agree to leave making a downpayment until tomorrow after she has visited the home in question. I honestly think that by tomorrow she will have forgotten all about it and that I should probably just make the necessary decisions and stop giving her any leeway in the matter…
I’m normally a very decisive person, but I’m scared to opt for independent living only to find in 6 months time that she has dementia and have to move her again. Of course the GP whose advice I have sought has not bothered to reply to my email…
I feel like I’m not getting anywhere. God give me strength.