Search this website


Saturday, April 11th, 2015


(Zürich Operahouse and Bellevue)

We finally got a breath of spring this week and the snow has gone. This meant that the streets were immediately full of people, restaurants put their tables outside (still a tad chilly for actually eating outside if you ask me) and we all felt more optimistic. The cold, grey, wet and windy weather we’ve had recently was getting everyone down. Now we seem to have moved on. About time too….

I see it’s almost a month since I managed to post. I don’t know where the time has gone although a huge amount of time and energy has gone into ‘the move’. To be honest, there has been an awful lot of very frustrating stuff going on and mother has done her very best to put a spanner in the works. She has accepted that she has to go but sees it all as very negative and has managed to royally mess up everything she has been asked to do…the jury is still out on whether this was due to sheer bloody mindedness on her part, or possibly due to dementia. I lean to the former.

It’s all so ridiculous.

An example in point – the lovely lady from the development had called twice to invite her to lunch and offered to help her choose curtain fabrics that they would get made up for the flat. Mother told her in no uncertain terms that this was not convenient. She was too busy (doing lord knows what – dozing in front of the fire??). When I confronted her on this, the only response was ‘well I don’t want to move’. I pointed out that she was moving and she had signed a contract – did she want to move with curtains or without curtains? Who would suffer from this ridiculousness….? There is nothing rational anymore. She also messed up the valuations of her house by telling the estate agents that she would be replacing the bathroom before we sold….duh????

It is so very hard to deal with this from so far away with a loopy 88 year old playing sabotage….

But the move will happen in 20 days. It is booked and almost sort of organised ….I’m travelling over for 6 days, mainly husband is coming for 5. As nothing at all has been sorted for the packers (as she needs to take EVERYTHING) I imagine it will all be a bit stressful, but it WILL happen. Come hell or high water. Or probably both.

At that point I think my blood pressure may drop 20 points overnight.

I’m doing a fairly good job or detaching myself and doing nice things for me – as many of you recommended. I know I will probably be able to look back and laugh about this one day. So I’m taking breaks, doing yoga, visiting friends and generally being nice to me. So far it mostly seems to be working – with the odd middle of the night exception, but knowing that the end is in sight, or at least the beginning of the end is helpful. As is consciously not thinking about it.

Then there is the house to clear and sell, but I will deal with that when I get to it….

As you do…..

Next on the list is to get out my spring and summer clothes and have a good sort through. I know already that nothing will fit, but so be it. As I just read in India Knight’s very funny book ‘In your prime’ from a certain age you have to sacrifice your face or your bottom – as food is involved in one and not the other, this is a no brainer for me. I am embracing my womanly curves!

Onward folks. Enough blethering for this afternoon…



7 Responses to “Spring?”

  1. Leanne Says:

    I hope it is bloody mindedness rather than the other possibilities, and you will be fine in the end, just keep breathing. Your mom is so lucky to have you to be there for her and I am pretty sure she knows it even if she is saying something different out loud.

  2. Dianne neale Says:

    You’re doing a sterling Jon. One small step at a time (easy for me to say, but I don’t do that!) Looking forward to a Weekend away soon.

  3. Swissrose Says:

    Ouch. 🙁

    But BIG hugs!!

  4. Elisabeth Says:

    No wonder you’re stressed dealing with your mother’s move. I hope everything goes smoothly from now on. Looking forward to seeing you very soon!

  5. Thimbleanna Says:

    You are so funny! I was thinking last night, I wish I’d written down all the funny things my mom has said and done over the last few years. All I can remember of them is friends laughing when I would recount some event and telling me I should write a book. Laughing is all you can do — and move on. My mom has also been difficult, but for the most part we’ve learned how to deal with it. I can’t imagine handling things from a distance as you’ve had to do. Not much longer now for you — I hope it will all go well and she’ll soon be settled in her new place!

  6. Tricia Says:

    You sound so put-together–even in the midst of mother-turmoil and the lovely aging process! Just today I was thinking about the ever-expanding waistline and my lack of any wearable summer outfits. Embrace, I shall!

  7. Linds Says:

    A couple of things but you will probably know them she easy – deeds are all digital now. Check on the government website. And re the sewing machine, the very best thing To troubleshoot is the bernina lovers Facebook page. Ask one question and problem is solved in minutes. There are very knowledgeable people on it as well as some amazing bernina techs. It saves hours of battling! And your hair. And your Mum – mine is 89 and has lived with me since 1997. With some spells at my sister as well. You’d will be just fine in her new place. And you will stay sane. And now I need to dust off my blog too. Lots of love.